


neither one, one of us (wants to say we're sorry)

by tonystarkdadmode



Series: how to fix a family (working title) [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is STRESSED, peter meets the avengers, this is kinda anti steve but not anti steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkdadmode/pseuds/tonystarkdadmode
Summary: Stating the understatement of the year: civil war was a shit show.Tony knew this, his nightmares from Siberia proved it.But he had finally gotten his life back together. He had moved past the fact that his best friend left him for dead in a frozen wasteland. He got over the fact that half of what he considered his family had split and left him.He got Pepper back. He had Peter now. Rhodey was getting better everyday. He was fine.So when the dust settles from Germany and the Accords are quietly ratified away from the mainstream public eye, and the Rogue Avengers want to come home, Tony can’t help but be pissed.They left him. Yes, they had reasons and maybe those reasons were justified, but they left. That was their choice. Tony picked up the pieces they left behind, and he made his own picture without them.He moved on.Now, they’re moving back in.OR the rogues move back to the compound and tony wonders how long he can hide peter from them, and vice versa





	neither one, one of us (wants to say we're sorry)

**Author's Note:**

> title inspired by the song good years - zayn
> 
> turns out I have the weirdest interests in fics that nobody else has so I have to write all of the situations myself??? idk
> 
> I wanted this fic to be about Tony's healing post CW and his thoughts towards the rogues. this isnt anti steve i promise i love steve, tony is just struggling because he feels like he has to protecc everyone 
> 
> also i know natasha was initially team tony in CW so like she's probably already met peter before but im ignoring that so ya 
> 
> honestly i still dont know what the h*ck im doing so enjoy

Stating the understatement of the year: civil war was a shit show.

 

Tony knew this, his nightmares from Siberia proved it.

 

But he had finally gotten his life back together. He had moved past the fact that his best friend left him for dead in a frozen wasteland. He got over the fact that half of what he considered his family had split and left him.

 

He got Pepper back. He had Peter now. Rhodey was getting better everyday. He was fine.

 

So when the dust settles from Germany and the Accords are quietly ratified away from the mainstream public eye, and the Rogue Avengers want to come home, Tony can’t help but be pissed.

 

They left him. Yes, they had reasons and maybe those reasons were justified, but they left. That was their choice. Tony picked up the pieces they left behind, and he made his own picture without them.

 

He moved on.

 

Now, they’re moving back in.

 

_

 

The compound wasn’t into full use before the split. Wanda and Vision had rooms before and were living there full time, but most of the other Avengers didn’t. They all had rooms, but they primarily used the compound for training and meetings, choosing to fall asleep in their own homes at the end of the night.

 

Not everyone was moving back at once, just Steve, Sam, and Natasha are the first wave. Tony could handle this, it was probably better in small sets than all at once. It doesn’t mean Tony _likes_ it, its just better.

 

Since the three new tenants were all adults and were previously living on the run, they were pretty low maintenance, meaning Tony didn’t really need to prepare much for their arrival. In fact, all he really had to do was to make sure there was more food in the kitchens to accommodate for Steve’s metabolism and add a few more tools to the training rooms.

 

When they moved in, there wasn’t a moment or anything to signify the next step towards making amends. There was no party, no heart to heart, Tony barely acknowledged them moving in.

 

Okay, so maybe Tony was being a bit petty about the whole thing. Deep down he knew the decision was for the better, and living in the same place as them would (long-term) somewhat heal the team. But that didn’t mean Tony had to like it right now.

 

He also didn’t like how this deal also meant that Tony had to move to the compound full-time. He had moved everything Avengers upstate not long after the split, but decided to still spend most of his time in the tower once Peter and him grew closer. It was hard for the kid to travel an hour outside the city and back on a school night, so Tony’s lab and suite in the tower was their go to spots. Peter would occasionally accompany Tony to the compound for a weekend trip, but not too often. Now, Tony had to figure out what to tell the kid about why he would be living in the compound now, and whether that meant him and Peter could work together as often.

 

Tony didn’t want to tell Peter about the other Avengers, mainly because he was nervous Peter would want to meet them. He didn’t want the Rogues knowing about Peter because he had to protect him. Peter was Spider-man, but he was just a kid. Tony doesn’t often regret bringing Peter along to Germany, but the memories of Peter crashing to the ground unmoving still makes Tony’s heart rate spike. He is just a kid. Logically, Tony knew the trio wouldn’t harm Peter ~~without provocation~~ but Tony also knew Steve plunged his shield into his chest when they were supposed to be ~~brothers~~ best friends. Peter is a kid. His kid. Tony realized how irrational his thoughts were but his primal instinct to protect what he holds closest to him completely and irrationally took over. So no, neither could or would know about the other.

 

_

 

The first month and a half, it worked out for the most part. Peter was a bit disappointed that Tony would be spending most of his time at the compound, but he often drove into the city to spend afternoons with Peter at the tower like before. Peter didn’t visit the compound because of how busy his schedule is getting with school and extracurriculars. Decathlon practices were getting longer and longer to prep for upcoming competitions and exam season was approaching quickly.

 

When the duo was together, Peter could sense something was off. Tony’s heart rate was consistently slightly faster than it was before, and he was getting migraines more often than usual. Peter noticed the man wasn’t sleeping as much, and he was constantly tense. His eyebrows, his shoulders, his hands, everything held the stress the man was feeling. Peter didn’t want to pry, and he knew Tony would open up when he wanted to, so the boy helped in other ways.

 

Movie nights were the easiest. Tony’s migraines usually would go away if they watched a comedy or Disney movie. The mentor would sit on the couch, slightly reclined and his legs propped up. Peter would resume his spot next to him, curling into his side and resting his head in the crook between Tony’s shoulder and head. Running his hands through Peter’s curls calmed him. Peter would feel some of the tension leaving the man’s body as he repeated the rhythmic motion, feeling the man’s heart take its time. Sometimes, the warmth of Peter’s body nestled against his, the rise and fall of the boy’s breathing, the soft hum of the TV, and the goddamn curls between his fingers were the perfect remedy to cure his insomnia. Peter didn’t mind doing his homework a little later that night, he knew a sleeping Tony was a huge victory to obtain.

 

The other Avengers noticed a difference in the billionaire as well. They weren’t expecting the man to welcome them back with open arms, but his absence in the evenings weren’t unnoticed. What was even more noticeable was his demeanor when he returned. He was always lighter in a sense. Less stressed, less tired, one time Natasha swore she heard him humming a melody. Sometimes he would participate in small talk with the others, but usually he just stopped in the common area for food before receding back to his lab.

 

The next morning, it was always back to square one.

 

“Maybe he’s drinking again,” Steve proposed one night while the trio ate dinner alone. When the other two just stared, he continued. “It makes sense, he leaves in the evening to catch happy hour, he’s better when he gets back, and he’s miserable again in the morning from his hangover. I’m not saying I like it I’m just saying it could be a possibility.”

 

“He drives himself when he leaves and Stark doesn’t strike me as one to drink and drive. And, there’s no alcohol anywhere in the compound,” Sam said between mouthfuls.

 

Steve shrugs. “We don’t have access to his private quarters, maybe he keeps stuff up there.”

 

“We don’t, but Pepper does. And Tony knows Pepper wouldn’t stay and watch him go down that path again. Tony wouldn’t lose her,” Natasha remarks.

 

Both of the men nod in agreement. All three knew they were on thin ice with the man when they were just staying in the apartment, so they didn’t look any further for answers.

 

_

 

After about two months, things were “civil” in a sense. Tony and the Rogues were on more familiar speaking terms. Neither groups were afraid to talk to each other anymore. Tony started spending more time at the compound, especially in the common area. The four would have conversations about missions or current events, still shying away from any Accords talk. There was less tension in the air, and all four of the residents could feel it. Things weren’t back to how they were before, but they were working on it.

 

So of course, it all goes to shit.

 

Peter was finally catching a break from everything and had more time to go out patrolling. One Friday night was a particularly rough night. Peter was excited to be back out and tried to take on four thieves at once, who ended up knocking him around more than he was used to. Nursing a few sensitive ribs, a sore wrist and a blow on his cheek that would surely leave a bruise, Peter swung home to try and sleep off his injuries.

 

_The grit between his teeth as his mouth screamed made him nauseous. Sucking in air didn’t help, it was thick with dust itself. Peter couldn’t expand his lungs. Why couldn’t he expand his lungs? There was something pressing on his back. Cement. He was back in the collapsed warehouse with Vulture._

 

_Inhale, inhale, inhale, inhale, inhale. Water was streaming down the sides of Peter’s face, running into his eyes and nose. Something was wrong._

 

_“Thanks for chatting, Pedro. But I’ve gotta go return a favor to your boss. Hopefully Potts will give you your job back once Stark is out of the picture,” Vulture grinned, giving Peter one last glance before taking off into the night._

 

 _Tony. He’s going to hurt Tony. Peter is squirming and heaving and thrashing, anything to get out of the rubble because_ ~~_Vulture’s going to kill Tony Vulture’s going to kill Tony_ ~~ _Vulture’s going to kill Tony.  Peter is gasping for air but the little hold he has on sanity is slipping._

 

_Inhale, inhale, inhale, inhale._

 

_The pebbles and debris falling around Peter start to make a different noise. Peter stills. They were ringing almost. Peter knows that sound, how does he know that sound-_

 

Peter sat straight up, shaking and sweating. The ringing continued, and Peter absentmindedly grabbed his phone and answered the call.

 

“Peter?”

 

“Mr. Stark?”

 

“What are you doing up?”

 

“I should ask you the same question.”

 

“Its like three in the morning.” Peter tried to respond but he was still trying to catch his breath from the dream. “Why are you breathing so heavy?” Tony tried to hide the panic in his voice but it didn’t work.

 

“I’m fine Mr. Stark. I just… I just had a bad dream but I’m fine now.”

 

Silence occurred on the other end. Then, “... I did too,” Tony said, quietly.

 

Peter immediately understood why the man is calling at this time, and now that Peter had fully awoken he could hear his mentor’s quiet labored breathing he was desperately trying to hide. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad was the dream? Be honest, I’ll know if you’re lying.”

 

“Like a six.”

 

“Tony,” Peter lightly scolded. “You wouldn’t be calling me if it was a six.”

 

Tony sighed shakily. “A ten,” the man said thickly.

 

“Call me a suit.”

 

“What? No, Peter-”

 

“May isn’t here and she won’t be home until tomorrow afternoon so she won’t even notice I was missing. I’m coming, I can either swing there or you can call me a suit to fly me there,” Peter said solidly.

 

Within a half hour, Peter was curled into his mentor’s side in his room at the compound. Tony’s anxiety had hit a peak from the nightmare earlier in the night, and he hated to admit it but Peter’s presence soothed him. He felt Peter’s soft breath on his neck, slowly inhaling and exhaling. His hair was somewhat tangled from the night of patrolling but Tony was still able to run his fingers through it. And it was hard to tell in the dark, but it looked like Peter had a bruise on his face but the man couldn’t focus on that, not tonight.

 

_Inhale. Hair. Peter is okay. Exhale. Inhale. Hair. Peter is right here and he’s okay. Exhale._

 

Tony felt himself being tugged back to sleep and he couldn’t shake the feeling like he was forgetting something. He could only focus on Peter and how he was right next to him. Nothing else mattered in the moment, Peter was safe.

 

A dreamless sleep awaited.

 

_

 

In the morning, Tony was groggy. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept more than four hours in a night and his body seemed to forget the proper reaction to a good night’s sleep. He rose from the bed and immediately drifted to the kitchen for coffee. Luckily someone had already brewed a pot. Running on autopilot, Tony poured himself a cup and sat down at the counter.

 

Peter entered the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the backs of this hands. He was wearing one of Tony’s old MIT crews and plaid sleeping pajama pants, curls a mess. He walked to the cupboard and pulled out a bowl for cereal.

 

“G’morn,” Peter croaked.

 

“Kid? I didn’t hear you come in, come here.”

 

Peter set his bowl on the counter before rounding the counter to Tony’s arms. Tony embraced the kid to his side, hands immediately stroking his head and forehead. “How did you sleep?” the man questioned, quietly.

 

“Better,” Peter said softly.

 

Tony hummed in response. “No more nightmares?”

 

“No, did you?”

 

“Nope, do you wanna talk about that shiner you’re sporting?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Tony smiled. He rubbed circled into Peter’s back and shoulder as the kid yawned. “I’m gonna go grab my phone so I can tell your aunt you’re staying here for they day, is that okay?”

 

Peter nodded lazily and returned to his quest for cereal. After unsuccessfully searching for his favorite cereal Tony always has stocked, he ventured down to the lab to see if Tony left the box down there while he was snacking one night.

 

Nat, Steve and Sam made their way in the kitchen, sticking to their own morning routine. Steve broke out a newspaper at the table, while Sam ate oatmeal one his left and Natasha was peeling an apple into one long strip with her knife on his right. All three noticed the bowl sitting out on the counter, but didn’t say anything about it. Everyone was relatively silent as they each did their own thing, making it easy to hear the extra-light pair of footsteps padding down the hallway.

 

Steve and Natasha noticed it immediately, locking eyes with each other before turning to stand and see the intruder.

 

Peter returned with the value sized box of Cheerios clutched against his chest, yawning as he re-entered the kitchen. He suddenly froze, his eyes widening and flying up to meet Steve and Natasha’s eyes.

 

“What are you guys doing here?”

 

Steve gave a short laugh, “Funny, we were about to ask you the same question. Who are you?”

 

Peter froze, his mouth alternating between open and closed as he tried to think of something to say.

 

“Only a certain number of people have access to this floor. How did you get in here?” Natasha commanded.

 

“I don’t - uh- I just,” Peter stammered, backing up.

 

“May said everything is cool so it looks like it’s you and me today buddy-” Tony exclaimed, staring at his phone as he walked back into the kitchen from the other side of the room. He looked up smiling, but immediately lost it as he took in the scene before him. “Woah, woah, woah. Stand down, now,” Tony called out to the others, pushing his rising panic back down as best as he could. He immediately crosses the room to Peter and hold his shoulders at arms length. “You okay?”

 

“What are they doing here? What happened to the Accords?” Peter eyed the three.

 

“It’s a long story, buddy,” Tony sighed.

 

“Is this why you’ve been so stressed recently?” the boy asked quietly.

 

“You noticed?”

 

“You’re pulse gave you away. Why do you think I pushed so many movie nights?” Peter explained.

 

Tony smiled and held the side of the boy’s face, running his thumb pad across Peter’s cheek. “Of course you noticed, always looking out for me,” he sighed again. “I promise I’ll explain this later, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

 

Peter nodded silently and Tony turned to face the other three.

 

~~_It will be okay, they won't hurt him. Things are better now. It will be okay, they won't hurt him. Things are better now._ ~~

 

“So, um, this is Peter. Peter, this is… them. Natasha, Steve and Sam.”

 

Peter peeked around the man, eyes hidden by his hair. The adults just looked at the child, completely at a loss for words. Normally Peter would be bouncing off of the walls, nerding out at the presence of three of his idols. But Peter knew Tony was hesitant for a reason. The disagreement over the accords was one thing, but the man wouldn’t have been so strung out for so long if there wasn’t another reason. He didn’t understand the situation, but he trusted Tony more than anything.

 

Peter gave an even, almost cold stare at the three adults, and then resumed making his bowl of cereal.

 

Tony glanced back and forth between the kid and the Rogues. _Nothing? No questions for them? No rambling or unknown facts or anything?_

 

“I’ll be down in the lab Mr. Stark,” the mentee mumbled, his voice still slightly scratchy from sleep. He left the room, not even glancing at the new company before departing.

 

“Did I miss something? I don’t remember kids hanging around the compound before,” Sam questioned.

 

“I um…” Tony mumbled, scrambling to form a sentence. The kid’s actions really threw him off his game.

 

“Is he yours?” Steve asked incredulously.

 

“No, no. Not really, anyways. That was Peter, um, he helps me in the lab sometimes.”

 

“How did you guys meet?” Natasha’s voice was surprisingly soft, not as accusing as the others.

 

“You’ll have to ask him that. I’m, uh, gonna go catch up to him,” Tony backtracked, spinning on his heel and striding towards the elevator to avoid any more questions. He didn’t know how Peter felt about them knowing his identity and that was the kid’s choice to make.

 

On his way down to the lab, the events of the past few hours played in his head like a movie. He was floored by Peter’s response towards the other Avengers. But Peter was his family, his rock. He immediately stood with Tony, acknowledging his hesitation towards the other members and stood in his corner. It was a breath of fresh air. Peter was family. When Tony made his own picture with the broken pieces after the split, he was afraid he wouldn’t have the sense of safety and family he had before. Pepper was home, yes.

 

_But Peter was family._

 

The others left him. Yes, they had reasons, but that was their choice. Tony had a family now. Pepper, Rhodey, Peter.

 

Then again, maybe he could add a few pieces back into the picture.

**Author's Note:**

> so like????? tried to make it so tony is beginning to see how he could heal his relationship w the rogues but honestly who tf knows 
> 
> im also a big fan of the strikethrough text thought process type writing, i tried to attempt it but i dont know if i made it work that well. one of my fav authors does it and i literally love it (shoutout to all the shatter me stans)
> 
> please tell me if this is bad hahahahahaha i wrote the majority of it at 4 am 
> 
> ALSO you should leave asks/prompts/headcanons in my ask box on tumblr id love to write stuff for u guys (@tonystarkdadmode) 
> 
> might do a lil 12 days of christmas thingy??????? stay tuned 
> 
> ily all


End file.
